Making Friends After 20

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I have a question for those of you reading this today, especially if you’re over the age of twenty – how do you make new friends?

Do you find it as difficult as I do? If you aren’t in college or a workplace that allows you to cultivate new friendships, how do you seek them out? Do you even attempt to?

After moving five hours away from the vast majority of the people I have known for two decades, I found myself in an interesting dilemma – besides my immediate family, I know no one here. I have no friends besides my spouse, and at almost 24, I haven’t a clue how to make them.

I also realize that because I work about 45-50 hours a week, entirely from home, my chances are even slimmer than someone who works in an office or outside of their own house.

Another uncomfortable truth I realized was that I haven’t made a new friend since I was in high school. Not that this is terribly important, but making a connection with someone new and having it last has not happened for me in 6-8 years. Talk about being rusty.

Through this blog and my YouTube channel, I have found some incredibly people online to interact with. People that have similar views and like to read as much as I do, and sometimes I doubted whether these people existed outside of a few family members. However, these are not people that live near me, that I can invite over or go out and have coffee with.

It’s not that I need dozens of friends. In fact, I’d love to just find one or two people nearby that I can meet up with and talk to once a week or so. I have never been someone to have a multitude of friends in my life, and that is honestly perfect for me. Being extremely introverted makes parties and large gatherings uncomfortable for me, and being an INFP makes me want to have more intimate, smaller interactions with humans.

There are apps now that allow to find groups and meetups around you to meet people that like the same things as you. I think I am going to try that out and see what I think. However, I still wanted to ask those of you with similar experiences, what do you do when seeking out new companionship? Any and all advice is welcome.

Thank you so much for reading, it means the world to me.

 

I’m Back

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Hello friends!

I am so excited to say that I am back and am going to be posting regularly again.

As far as a posting schedule, I haven’t really decided what I am going to commit to at this time. Right now I am going to get back to my regular YouTube videos on Tuesday and Thursday, and then a blog post on Sundays. Then I’ll build from there!

Just a little bit of a life update in case you don’t know my personally – I moved to a different state over the the last few weeks. My spouse, dogs, and I are now in a much better living situation in Ohio.

I also went vegetarian about a week ago. A couple years ago I was vegan, and ever since starting to eat meat afterwards I have wanted to officially give it up again.

My work has also been a little more hectic. I started a second job that is quite a bit of writing, and giving myself a break from creative projects has been a nice way to ease into a new life. However, I have really, really missed making videos and writing blog posts.

That brings me to my last point. Over the past few weeks I have noticed a lot more followers on both this blog and my YouTube channel, and it has been such a heartwarming mood boost for me. For everyone who is new to my content, I can’t thank you enough for connecting with me and enjoying what I spend a LOT of time making. Thank you.

-Kristen

An Enormous, Heartfelt Thank You

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Every day I get on here I am simply amazed at the outpouring of people who dedicate time to reading, commenting, liking, and conversing with me on this blog and my new YouTube channel as well.

I have had some personal stuff come up over the last few weeks, making it very hard to convince myself to write and film as much as I have in the past. Mental health is something I have had to work tirelessly towards and it’s harder at certain times than others.

So I just wanted to say, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The fact that even one person gets on here and reads anything that I have to say has been incredible, let alone the many, many readers I talk to throughout the week.

I am doing my best to stay on top of everything and to keep writing as I take care of myself as well as moving my family a few states north over the next month. If a post or video falls through the cracks, as they have over the past week, I am sorry. Thank you again, for reading.

How to Read More as a Busy Adult

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I have seen a viral post going around the internet that basically states ‘I read so much as a child dozens and dozens of books, and now I am lucky if I finish one book a year.’ That isn’t the exact quote, but that is the thought behind it.

This is completely, 100% understandable. I can personally relate to this myself, and it took a while to get myself out of that rut as a ‘grown-up.’

Who has the time? Honestly-between working at least 40 hours a week, cooking, cleaning, taking care of pets, social lives, children, and keeping yourself sane, it really doesn’t seem like reading is or should be anywhere near the top of the list.

For me, it is an absolute necessity. I can’t live without it. Reading and literature are living, breathing life for me. So I make time, no matter what is going on. However, even if you are not quite as involved in it as myself, you may be interested in just keeping up on reading even just a few books a year to keep yourself sharp.

So whether you want to read as much as humanly possible and immerse yourself in literature and learning constantly, or you just want to sharpen up your reading skills slightly in order to read a little more than a book a year, I have some tips to share with you.

This is an important skill, and reading even a little bit is a fantastic way to keep your mind sharp.

 

The first tip I would give you is to always have something to read.

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This is the single best piece of advice my father has ever given to me- don’t ever go somewhere without two things to read. That way if you finish the first book/magazine/newspaper/etc, you will have something else.

Because of this, I get way more reading done, even on busy days. Rather than always pulling out my phone and watching garbage (which I have a tendency to get sucked into), I am able to engage myself in something better.

Now, even if you don’t want to lug around some huge book all day, bring an eReader, a magazine, whatever it is that you enjoy! That way you are never stuck without something to read.

The second piece of advice that I have for you is to keep track of what you read.

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Whether you use Goodreads or just make a list- it can be satisfying to keep track of what you read and see how you progress throughout the year.

If it is just to motivate yourself to read more or to see what sort of material comes up the most, keeping track of what you read can be a great way to inspire yourself to push harder.

My third and last tip would be to engage with other readers. 

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The hardest thing for me as a reader is having no one to talk to about it. If you have people with similar reading tastes, or even just likes reading in general, it’s easier to read regularly and then discuss it with someone.

If you don’t have a lot of people around you to discuss what you are reading with, do what I did! Start a blog to review books or even a YouTube channel to talk about reading and literature. Once I did that for myself, not only did it provide me with a fantastic outlet, but it motivated me to read more challenging works and more often.

Those are three of the best ways I have found to read more. You do of course have to want to read and engage with literature, but if you need a little help-these tips should do it.

What motivates you to read more? 

 

Exciting Life Update!

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If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may remember when my spouse and I decided to sell our school bus.

Since doing that, we have made plans to move up north to Ohio for a few years, and in the process begin building a tiny house as well.

Well, yesterday we signed a lease for an adorable little three bedroom house in Ohio. It has been a stressful, long process finding a place that would allow us to bring our big dogs in and has all the features we needed.

So May will be our last month in Virginia, and we could not be more excited.

I apologize for such a short blog post this Sunday, but due to all the travel, work, and family time, it has been a crazy week!

Once we are moved in and settled I will share some pictures of our new little home.

Thanks for reading!

An American Marriage / Book Review

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“But home isn’t where you land; home is where you launch. You can’t pick your home any more than you can choose your family. In poker, you get five cards. Three of them you can swap out, but two are yours to keep: family and native land.” 

I finally got around to finishing this book last week, and wanted to talk to you all about it. To be honest, I liked this infinitely more than I thought I would, and I have been feeling that way about a lot of books that have come out in 2018.

The story follows a young married couple, Roy and Celestial. They are young and happily married for about a year and a half before their world is completely turned around. Roy is arrested for a crime he did not commit, and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

Over time, things change, and people move on. The rest of the novel tells the story of two people who are lost and how they deal with how their lives are going.

The book is told in three different perspectives- Roy, Celestial, and a close friend-Andre. This was my favorite part of the book. You get to see every point made from every possible perspective. It made the story much more detailed and rich, and allowed you to go into every situation with more perspective. There are points in the story where it is easy to ‘choose sides,’ and the different viewpoints made it easier to realize how important each one was.

This book was well-written, heartbreaking, and incredibly thought-provoking. It gave incredible insights to the intricacies of being married, racial profiling and being a person of color in America, the legal system, and the lengths you will go for someone you love.

There wasn’t one single aspect in this book that left me unsatisfied. I was very nervous towards the end of the story because I wasn’t quite sure what the final pages would hold, but it turned out in such a perfect and somewhat unexpected way.

Does it turn out in the perfect, ‘traditional’ way? No, it doesn’t. But for me it felt like the only way for the story to end.

This was a book that will have me contemplating it for the considerable future. I would highly recommend it for any fiction fans.

 If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it!