Keeping My Last Name


For those of you that know me personally, or read my blog regularly, you probably know that I’ve been married for almost three years now.

People are never afraid to share opinions about this with me. Whether it’s my lack of children, the age I got married, etc. there are always thoughts that family members/friends/strangers feel entitled to share. This is fine, and I’ve gotten used to it, but it doesn’t make it less ridiculous at times.

One of the things that upsets people the most that I understand the least is my last name. After we got married,  I decided not to change it. My husband doesn’t care, and agreed that it’s totally my call, and why should anyone care anyway? I did this for a few reasons, and anytime I meet someone new and they ask about it, people still don’t get it. So here are the reasons, and if you’re still upset by it at the end, maybe just try and think about the fact that it’s not your choice or business.

First of all, I like my last name. I like the people it came from, I like that I have had it for decades, and I like the way it sounds with my first name. My husband’s last name is great, but I want mine to stay.

Secondly, I didn’t feel like changing it. For anyone who has gone through the process of changing their name, it’s kind of a pain and takes a while. Why go through all that trouble if it’s something I don’t care about anyway?

My next reason is because I’m a feminist who believes that a lot of these traditions are rooted in sexism and completely arbitrary. Now I don’t believe that every woman who changes their name hates themselves, or isn’t a feminist, or thinks of themselves as property, and I don’t think your husband is the worst if he likes that your names are the same- it’s just not for meThis is the reason that always gets the eye rolls, the anger, the judgement, etc. I am not going to apologize for the way  I feel about it. If you decide to change your name, awesome! That’s great for you! I just want people to feel the same way about my choice.

That pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject. Again, no hard feelings to anyone who feels differently.

I’d love to hear your thoughts as well! 

This Week’s Favorites! #2


I had a lot more time this week to get in some reading, so here’s my second favorites post!

Most of what I’ve read over the past two weeks are classics. I read Life of Pi by Yann Martel, after having it on my TBR list for about ten years. I am only sorry to have waited so long.


“It is true that those we meet can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterwards, even unto our names.”

This story follows Pi Patel as he is travelling to Canada with his family and some of their zoo animals. The ship wrecks, and Pi is left stranded on a lifeboat with a 450 pound Bengal tiger. Over the next 200 or so days, they brave the elements together, and come to have a special bond. 

Pi’s personality was something I really enjoyed. He isn’t satisfied with one religion, so he proclaims himself as Hindu, Muslim, and Christian. To him, he is loving the same god no matter what, he just loves to worship in different ways. He is kind, even to an enormous cat that could potentially kill him. He is always thinking of the pain that the animals around him suffer, even when he has to eat fish while stranded on the boat. 

The writing was lovely and surreal, the development of characters (especially Richard Parker the tiger) was amazing, and the story was hard to put down. I would highly recommend this to anyone who hasn’t read it yet.

Here’s my Goodreads review of the book:



My second favorite this week is a book that’s also been on my TBR list forever- We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver. I had watched the movie years ago, and the book has been on my list ever since.


“I thought at the time that I couldn’t be horrified anymore, or wounded. I suppose that’s a common conceit, that you’ve already been so damaged that damage itself, in its totality, makes you safe.” 

For those of you who don’t know the story, it’s incredibly disturbing. The story is told from the point of view of Eva, who is the mother to Kevin- an emotionless child who ends up becoming a mass murderer. The story follows them as Kevin grows up, hating his mom from a very young age. The book starts before Eva has him, and climaxes into the moment he ruins the rest of her life. The writing is amazing, the story is horrifying but incredibly interesting to read, and the character development left me almost confused on who to root for by the end of the book. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart, but I’d personally recommend it to anyone who can handle disturbing subject matter.

Here’s my Goodread’s review of the book:


What are the best things you read/watched this week? 

Spring Cleaning


As the weather in Virginia gets more and more spring-like, I’m getting ready to overhaul my life physically, spiritually and emotionally. I don’t know a lot of people who actually participate in ‘Spring cleaning,’ but it’s one of my favorite parts of the year. Similar to New Year’s, it gives me a reason and motivation to completely start over.

During late February/early March, I like to clean my house. And I mean clean my house. Washing everything, bleaching everything, airing out the back rooms, washing dog beds, etc. I go through my computer/phone/tablet and clean out old files and pictures, clean out my fridge, and re-pot most of my indoor plants.

On top of physically cleaning everything, I like to make sure I myself am ‘clean.’ I schedule a doctor’s appointment to make sure everything is in check, including my mental health. I go through my skin care routine and make sure that I’m doing everything as efficiently as possible. My exercise schedule gets set up (I am guilty of abandoning the best intentions in this field.)

As for spiritually, I haven’t done much in that field in a few years. I don’t know that I want to. I enjoy going to religious ceremonies of all different kinds, but I’m not stuck to any particular one. I do enjoy meditating, and I will probably plan to do more of that this year.

What do you do to ‘spring clean?’ 

Coming Back Down


My goal for this week was to do a regular blog post over the weekend, and then a favorites post today, however neither of those things are happening.

I spent the past five days at my parent’s house in Ohio. It was a much-needed break from reality and my everyday life, and I couldn’t make myself stick to any sort of habit.

I did do a lot of reading this week, between audio books and my normal reading- but wasn’t able to finish anything that I liked enough to do a favorites post. By next week I will have some things finished that will be worthy of blogging.

As for a regular blog post, I made it a point to barely touch my computer all weekend. The break was so good for my mental health, and I only wish it had lasted a little longer.

Instead of sticking to a writing schedule and strict work schedule, I spent time with my parents and siblings, played more with the dogs, read more, ate whatever I wanted, and slept in. Time was less important, and every second was well spent.

I drank without worrying about waking up the next morning, I didn’t time myself for anything, I slept until waking up naturally, and I ate what I wanted without thinking about it. It was surreal.

I think it would be helpful to make it a point to give myself this kind of break at least once a month. It’s so easy to get lost in your career/chores/schedule/etc. that you can completely forget who you are and why you’re doing what you’re doing.

So I am adding that to my New Year’s resolutions. At least once a month I will take a day unplugged from technology, eating and sleeping when I want, and taking care of myself.

What do you do to recharge mentally? Share it with me in the comments- I need some inspiration!

Weekly Favorites: 1


I love getting suggestions for new books/ magazines/ movies/ articles/ shows to try out! There is a lot of great content that’s easy to miss if you’re not looking for it, so I figured I’d share my favorites every week as well. It will be books most of the time, but as other things come up  I will share them too.


This week I wanted to talk especially about this book:


I don’t read a lot of YA fiction anymore, but I couldn’t pass this one up. This story is about the Black Lives Matter movement, and more specifically a young girl who watches her friend get shot by a cop and how she deals with the aftermath. The story was heartbreaking but very hopeful, the characters were wonderful and developed, and it was from a point of view that I personally did not know much about. I listened to the audiobook version of this book, and I’m really glad I did. Bahni Turpin narrated the book, and she had the perfect voice for the story and for all the different characters. I think it’s great that there are young adult books like this are coming out to provide younger readers with important topics.

Here’s my Goodreads review of the book (click the link):

The Hate U Give Review

“What’s the point of having a voice if you’re gonna be silent in those moments you shouldn’t be?” 

The second book I read last week that I wanted to talk about is:


I really enjoy memoirs-especially ones that include horrible childhoods that are then recovered from. Running With Scissors was one of the most horrifying yet hilarious memoirs I have ever read of this sort. I would feel myself gasping out of disgust and then immediately laughing minutes later. This story of the author follows him as he watches his mother spiral into serious mental illness, and then as he is placed in the care of his mother’s equally insane therapist. This book definitely highlights some of the ugliest parts of mental illness and manipulation, and it’s probably not for the faint of heart.

My Goodreads review of it (click the link):

Running With Scissors Review

“It’s a wonder I’m even alive. Sometimes I think that. I think that I can’t believe I haven’t killed myself. But there’s something in me that just keeps going on. I think it has something to do with tomorrow, that there is always one, and that everything can change when it comes.” 


What did you read/watch this week that you loved? Please feel free to share in the comments!