If you spend anytime on the internet, I am sure you’ve seen many allegations against famous people by men and women that have been assaulted by them. There is apparently a lot of controversy in these news stories, with the countless comments of-
“Innocent until proven guilty.”
“I’ve loved him and been a fan forever, he couldn’t have done this.”
“These girls just want attention/money/fame/etc.”
“This is a witch hunt, there’ll be no men left to perform.”
I have a few thoughts on this. It’s fine if you disagree with me, but this is something I won’t change my mind on.
A few years ago, I found myself at a police station, shaking, scared and crying while telling the cops that I had been sexually assaulted. It was humiliating, horrifying, and it made me relive the worst day of my life over and over again. A very good friend of mine insisted that I go, otherwise I never would have set foot in that building. The police officers were trying to be as nice as possible, but the conversation was extremely disheartening.
“There’s no way to prove it at this point.”
“What were you wearing?” (Yes, really.)
“Even if this goes to court, it’ll probably be worse for you than it will for him.”
“This happened in your home? Why did you invite him in if you didn’t want that?”
This is why I am completely enraged when people question celebrities who didn’t come forward 10, 15, 20, 40 years ago. Many of these women were taken advantage of by men of endless power at a very young age. Ridiculing their decision to wait is ridiculous. I never would have told a single soul had it not been for a friend.
As for all of your heroes going down, I can’t say I feel the least shred of sympathy for them. Kevin Spacey went down because of Kevin Spacey, not because of anything else. Sure, they might be talented people, but that’s no excuse at all. Think of all the talent we are most likely missing out on because of the assault and pedophilia going on in Hollywood.
I would rather see all of Hollywood torn apart than to have these men running free allowed to do whatever they’d like. They made a decision to hurt other human beings and are suffering the consequences. I really used to enjoy Woody Allen’s movies, now you wouldn’t catch me at one if I was paid to go.
I will always believe someone who has the courage to come forward, in any situation. If it turns out that someone has lied, then OK. But I won’t start out by not believing someone who is speaking out about something so horrific and personal.
If someone you know mentions that a man or woman has hurt them, please take them seriously. Be willing to listen. Be there for them. This is not something that should ever be taken lightly.
I really don’t want to go into too many details with my own experiences, but I wanted to share enough to let everyone know that it is FAR more common than you think. Be sensitive. Domestic violence, assault, rape, molestation, etc. is everywhere. Both men and women can be victims or abusers, and I truly believe that taking down those in the public eye is a huge step for awareness and working on the root of the problem.
I would love to hear any thoughts you have on this. I know this is a sensitive topic, so please be respectful. Thank you for reading!