Trichotillomania

abdiel-ibarra-102212

 

For any of you that follow me on social media, you probably saw a few posts regarding my hair over the past month. Long story short, I lost a lot of hair very quickly, and decided to drastically change my look as a result of it.

To elaborate a little more, I have a habit called Trichotillomania. This is defined as “a compulsive desire to pull out one’s hair.”

When I become anxious or upset, I twist my hair until it’s weak enough to break it off. It started when I was 13 and had started  at a public middle school. Then I didn’t do it for years. Through tons of stressful situations and times I didn’t have the urge to touch my hair at all. This year however, it came back.

I don’t know if it was quitting a toxic job after two years, readjusting all of our finances, deciding that our whole lifestyle was going to change next year, a depression episode, or all of these things combined that caused it to return-but it was worse than ever. My house was covered in my hair, and my bald patches grew bigger and bigger. I ended up with a four or five inch bald patch above my neck, which left me with a really sparse amount of hair left on my head. I wasn’t able to salvage it, which broke my heart since I had been growing it out for almost three years now.

My spouse, who has never experienced any depression or anxiety, has worked extremely hard to try and understand and always support me when anything happens. He got me back to a doctor after five years of refusing to be medicated, he listens, he researches and makes sure that he knows what’s going on, and he never judges. Since he knew that my hair was something I wasn’t able to just stop pulling out- he offered to take a whole weekend to completely redo my hair.

Alternative looks and hairstyles have always been appealing to me. I am tattooed and pierced, and have always wanted crazy hair as well. Since my husband used to work in a barber shop, I gave him complete creative control over my hair. He shaved my head, gave me a Mohawk, bleached my hair and then dyed it gray.

I’ll be honest, this part wasn’t easy. I cried the entire time he cut my hair. That was almost three years of growth that I had just thrown away with my crippling anxiety. However, either way it would have needed to be severely altered, and I don’t think he could have done a better job.

22366294_1473354646086287_1268434104253791575_n

I fell in love with it instantly. I was able to completely embrace the issue and enjoy a completely new look, while also getting rid of the ability to rip out my hair. It is definitely something that I will always have to work on and talk to my doctors about, but taking this step has made me feel so much more empowered.

Please let me know what you think in the comments! Does anyone else have similar problems that they’ve been able to overcome? 

10 thoughts on “Trichotillomania

  1. Stephen H

    I totally get the anxiety from the job, Kristen. Me too. I’m sorry that yours manifests in that way. Mine has come in the form of mini panic attacks, heart palpitations, and stomach/bowel bouts. It is a tougher job than most people give it credit for. Kudos to you for moving on to a happier place. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s awful Stephen, I had no idea it affected you like that! I admire you for sticking with it though. After almost two years I had to give it up, even though it’s a great job it wasn’t worth my sanity or life. Thank you for reading this and sharing that with me.

      Like

  2. Amanda

    I really admire that you were able to take control and make the best out of the situation. My Trichotillomania is something I’ve only recently started to come to terms with. For me it’s just my eyebrows, but it’s gotten worse these last several months for some reason and they are so thin and have bald patches now. People often have a hard time understanding that it’s not something I can “just stop” doing, and that it’s a real struggle. I recently bought a smooth stone that I try to play with when my urges are strongest and it’s helped some, but I still have a long journey ahead. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. カナダグースがすごいけど、デサントのハイラインがすごい!今年の目玉でしょうか。 何だか少し課題はあるが、楽しめたクリスマスイヴイヴイヴでした。 ボクらの勇気 未満都市 ネタバレ
    数年後、その場所を訪れてみると…【閲覧注意】子供を家に一人残しウワキ相手とホテルへ→ 朝帰宅すると自宅全焼!俺「やばい…子供が!!!」→→→ 【前編】【嫁△】DQNが俺の車に煙草の火を押し付けたり車を蹴飛ばしてきた。 このようなMBC水木ドラマの不振を止めてくれる作品は、『W』と『ショッピング王ルイ』だった。
    美女 の 誕生 ost 」– 実現された特別なきっかけがありますか?「いつかのクリスマスイブに映画を見ました。 結果として、「中立、公正、公平」の基準が踏み越えられたならば、その行為が正される必要があるし、その行為を行った者の責任が問われなければならない。
    太陽 の 末裔 放送 予定
    幼少時にバレリーノ(男性のバレエダンサー)を目指し将来を嘱望されていた経歴を持つくるみは自分を白鳥の生まれ変わりだと信じ、バレエに命を捧げてきた。 最近韓国で放送されたtvN「脳セク時代」にはKangNamが登場した。 主君 の 太陽 動画 日本 語 字幕
    親指ポジションで1と0はほとんどくっつけるというか押し付け合うくらいの感覚が必要になるわけですが、これが、曲の流れの中でうまく実践できず、0が下がり気味になっちまうのですね~。 瀧くんがきょろきょろしている時に突如奥寺先輩が現れたシーン。
    one piece dvdラベル (^_^) さて、おそらく殆どの視聴者さんが予想した通り、テヒは徐々にサラのことを好きになって来たようです。 まさに半同棲スケジュールでいくところの、某ネットの実況では、話題になってたみたいですドラマの最後は、第40回目のデート。
    太陽 の 末裔 ブログ

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s